Chapter Ten: The Birth of the Turtle Club

After one of the war’s most grueling stretches of missions, Ervin and his fellow pilots found themselves in a British officers’ club on a rainy night — rain hammering the windows, ale on the table, laughter and exhaustion mixing in equal measure. Someone raised the idea of creating a fraternity, something lighthearted to strengthen their bond during the darkest days.

For Ervin, the name was obvious: “Are you a Turtle?” — the question that had followed him since the schoolyard.

Then came the matter of the password. One of the lads quipped: “How about, ‘You bet your sweet self I am!'” There was a pause, followed by the kind of laughter that can only come from men teetering between exhaustion and exhilaration.

Ervin, ever quick-witted, chimed in: “Well, lads, I do have a pet donkey back home — a sweet little thing I call my ass. How about: ‘You bet your sweet ass I am’?” The room erupted. The Turtle Club was born.

The Rules of the Turtle Club

Rule I: We assume all prospective Turtles own a Jackass. On this assumption rests the reason for the Password. This password must be given in full if you are ever asked by a fellow member, “Are You A Turtle?” You MUST reply: “You bet your sweet ass I am.” If you do not give the password in full — because of embarrassment or any other reason — you forfeit a beverage of his or her choice. So always remember the password.

Rule II: To gain admission, a prospective Turtle must correctly answer four from the following list of qualifying questions. Each appears to suggest a vulgar, lewd, or salacious answer — but the correct answer is always perfectly innocent:

What does a cow have four of and a woman only two? — Legs

What is it in the trousers that a man has but a woman does not? — Wrinkles

What does a dog do that a man steps into? — Pants

What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious, and contains thin whitish liquid? — Coconut

What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? — Bubble Gum

What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down, and a dog do on three legs? — Shake Hands

What word starts with an F and ends in K that means a lot of heat and excitement? — Fire Truck

What is it on a man that is round, hard, and sticks so far out of his pajamas that you can hang a hat on it? — Head

What is a four-letter word ending in K that means to have intercourse? — Talk

What began as a lighthearted escape in a pub became a morale-boosting ritual that carried them through the darkest days of the war. The Turtle Club was not just a joke — it was a lifeline, a brotherhood that celebrated loyalty, humor, and the resilience of men who had seen the worst the world had to offer and chose laughter anyway.

When the war ended on May 7, 1945, Ervin raised his glass at the final gathering: “These brave men weren’t just heroes of WWII. They represent the veterans of all wars. Through their courage, humor, and unwavering bond, they’ve shown us what it truly means to be a Turtle.”